One of the reasons why I am glad to be leaving is because the situation was getting a little sticky with a male colleague there.
We went out a few times for dinner and drinks and got on really well. Had the situation been different maybe things could have even progressed between us.
Of course I was honest with him from the start and told him all about my relationship with Jayce, and like most men I have dated these past six months, he didn’t mind, mainly because like every other guy, he assumed that in the end I would choose him.
On our last date he took me to a nice Chinese place where we drank copious amounts of wine. Emboldened by the alcohol, he brought up the subject of my other relationship.
“I don’t see how you can date a married man” he said. “Why are you prepared to settle for being second best? Don’t you think you are being selfish? Don’t you ever think about his wife?”
I answered the questions as best I could.
“Firstly, I don’t consider myself to be second best. I get the very best of him. I get the fun and none of the responsibility.
Secondly. Maybe I am being selfish for not giving her a second thought, but I don’t believe for one second that if it wasn’t me he wouldn’t be with someone else. Jayce is the kind of guy who likes excitement and the thrill of the chase. Because of who he is and what he does, he can pretty much have a different girl every day of the week if he so wanted. There is no way that his wife does not realise this.
Thirdly. No, I don’t think of his wife beyond the odd occasion when I wonder what she looks like and if she’s better in bed than I am. I am not the one who’s married, and therefore, don’t consider her to be my problem.”
At this point he grabbed my both my hands over the table looked into my eyes and said:
“I can see that you have been hurt in the past and that you are afraid of getting hurt again. I think that this is your way of not getting too involved, that’s why you picked an unavailable man. I just want you to know that it doesn’t have to be this way. We could have something special”.
Mid way through his speech I had wrenched one of my hands away and had taken a big slug of wine from my glass. Unfortunately, as he got to the last line, I looked up and made eye contact. The earnest look on his face was too much for me, and I burst into strangled laughter, snorting wine across the table.
Wiping his eye, he glared at me, and then asked the waiter for the bill.
On Friday, I walked past him at the water cooler and heard him singing a little song under his breath.
Catching my name, I asked him what he was singing.
“Oh just a little song I’ve been working on:
‘Prick tease, prick tease, Jezabel’s a prick tease’
I made it up myself”
I actually have another date tomorrow night and am a bit nervous. The guy who I am meant to be seeing is a two years younger than me and was my best friend’s little brother’s best friend at school.
I bumped into him in a bar a week or so ago after not having seen him for six years, and boy has he grown!! He confessed to having had a crush on me at school all those years ago and asked me if I had felt the same. I smiled and nodded, not wanting to admit that the only feeling I had for the weedy, spotty youth who back then tried to set my hair on fire on the school bus, were of pity and revulsion.
But more of that tomorrow when no doubt, I shall post a drunken blog entry after my date..